Throw Back Thursday – Bear Comes Clean 4/13/17

Personal Note:  The post below is from early summer, 2009.  The new Grand Hotel and Carriage Tour Stable and Carriage Museum wasn’t even on the drawing board, and the Grand horses were housed in an incredibly old barn behind the hotel.  What it lacked in beauty though, it made up for in character and history! 

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FIRST PUBLISHED 6/11/09

Hi!  It’s me – Bear.   I just HAD to tell you what happened to me today.  The embarrassment, the humiliation, the degradation is almost more than I can talk about – but maybe it will help me heal to get it all out there and off my chest.

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LOOK AT ME!  Am I not the most handsome, bodacious, championship-blooded golden retriever you have ever seen?  You think it’s easy to be this good-looking?  My mom makes me appointments once a month when we are in Georgia with Miss Kathy, who understands what it takes to keep me looking like this.  She has a very nice salon with a big porcelain bathtub that two people very gently lift me into.  Then they bathe me with this great smelling kiwi shampoo, followed by a berry conditioner.  I am then carefully “blown out” and groomed with scissors.  I have a pedicure on all four feet.  It is delightful in the extreme!

When we came to Mackinac Island last summer, mom got on the phone trying to find a groomer on the island.  There wasn’t one, which is really a shame because there sure are a lot of man’s best friends here.  She finally found a groomer all the way over in Cheboygan.  It’s called Bark, Bath and Beyond (cute, huh?).  The lady there did a really nice job with me last summer, but because it takes 30 minutes to drive there (that’s after the ferry ride), and mom has to wait around for 3 or 4 hours while I get pampered, she only takes me every six weeks.  Well, let me tell you – a dog like me can get seriously dirty here on this island in six weeks.

Which brings me to the point of this story.  We have company coming this weekend. It’s two more weeks before I’m supposed to get groomed, and mom has been fussing for days about how dirty and smelly I am (I personally have smelled myself, and I don’t get the problem).  Unfortunately, on things like hygiene, mom has her own ideas.

So all of a sudden mom is gathering up the shampoo and conditioner she has brought with her, and dad is getting some towels, and they put the leashes on Maddie and I, and we start down the hill.  Now I am a smart dog, and I know if I was going to the groomer, we would have left really early this morning.  So I am a little confused and a little concerned, because it is now 3:30 in the afternoon. 

We come to The Grand Hotel stable and GO INSIDE!  There are these huge, great looking horses in really big kennels and all these fancy carriage thingys.  There are some really neat displays of some strange looking collars and a suit inside a glass cage.

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This man who mom and dad call Ben comes out and tells my mom she can bring me on over.  Over where, dude?  I don’t do carriages.

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Oh my GOSH!!!  Mom is going to wash me in a HORSE SHOWER!!  Talk about mortified!  She hooks me up to this really long leash thing and starts wetting me down.  Now the only good thing about this so far is that the water is WARM.  Nothing is too good for those fancy Grand horses!  But where’s the tub?  At this point, I would have even settled for a plastic bucket!

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So there I stood, soaking wet, getting lathered up with my kiwi shampoo and what happens?  A CROWD gathers!  There are tourists going through the stables looking at the horses and the carriages and stuff, and then they see me getting a bath.  Guess who becomes the star attraction.  They took pictures and everything!  It was horrible.  What made it even worse was that MADDIE was there watching too – and I could see that sly little grin on her face even though mom was running water all in my eyes (something Miss Kathy NEVER does).  I wasn’t even sorry to see that mom was getting almost as wet as me.

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Well, it was finally over.  I had a good shake and mom led me over in a corner to dry me off with those towels dad had brought.  The crowd went back to looking at the horses like they were supposed to be doing (if I had known I was going to serve as entertainment, I would have insisted on a cover charge). 

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We got home and mom took me to the third floor to use the blow dryer on me.  She brought along a real dog hair dryer from home because a people hair dryer is much too hot for my delicate skin.  It sounds like a jet engine when it’s running, so she wanted to get as far away from the neighbors as she could. 

When it was all over, I have to admit I looked pretty good – not as good as when Miss Kathy works on me – but ok.  Mom said I certainly smelled a lot better – well, yeah if you like kiwi perfume over dirty dog smell.  You know which one I prefer!  I decided I would sulk for a while.  I figured if I did it long enough, I might get something to cheer me up.

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Do I know my mom or what?

 bearball

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15 thoughts on “Throw Back Thursday – Bear Comes Clean 4/13/17

  1. Oh dear Bear – what a delightful story this was Brenda; in the heavens I’m sure he’s laughing as he rolls in something particularly scented and is saying “ha mom – wait till I see you again – I’ll small especially Bear-like just for you!” Great visit with a dear friend

  2. I have vicariously enjoyed having dogs through you and some other friends. Who could resist that beautiful face? But I’m with you about the dirty-dog smell!
    If that was the old horse barn, can’t imagine how nice the new shower stall is!

  3. Your sweet, sweet Bear always had great stories to tell! Our Bear goes to the groomer for doggy spa day about once a month also. But if I think he needs a bath in between the spa appointments he gets washed the same as your Bear. We get his leash and hook it to the wall in our body shop wash bay and he stands there (feeling humilated also like your Bear) and get washed. Even when he isn’t getting a bath, he will not go within 10 feet of the wash bay. Apparently he thinks it is a evil place! LOL!

    Thank you for a great laugh! Hugs from Iowa!

  4. Thank you, Brenda, for sharing again that very entertaining story by Bear. It is such a sweet memory of your lovely fellow. And I enjoyed several hearty laughs-out-loud — he had such a way with words! 🙂

  5. I am with Bear on the cover charge! OMG the humiliation of it all. Hysterical! A cute story made even better by the writer. Thanks for sharing!

  6. I know Bear is sitting at the Rainbow Bridge getting a good chuckle out of reading these comments! He did so love to write!

  7. Cupid at the keyboard.
    I’m a champion blooded Siberian. But I leave that show stuff to my brother, and I moved in with my human Mom and Grandparents. We have a glorious swampy place in the backyard where I can wade and splash in the spring and after the rain. Last week, I spent sooo much time back there. Friday night, I was told we were going for a ride in the truck for the first time. Grandpa got a new truck so instead of riding in the old minivan, we get to ride in the back of the old truck now that there’s a cap. I think it’s a little nicer, but I have to have help getting in and out. Koti got out on his own and landed on his knees and chin on the pavement. Ouch and he’s 12, not 2 like me so it is harder on him. We went into the place Mom took me to get my ears cleaned when they hurt awhile back. They felt better afterwards, and then I saw the pig’s ear jar and asked Mom if we could get some. We went back into a little cubicle. Everything was fine. Then they moved the panel, and Mom went to put me into the silver tub. I realized where we were – I was supposed to be getting a bath. It’s not fun to be all wet, and when I’m soaking wet Mom takes pictures and puts them on Facebook for all my fans to see. It’s humiliating! So I totally feel for Bear. I’m sure he’s up at the Rainbow Bridge comparing notes with my older brother, Blitzen. My Mom still misses him even if she does have me.

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