Very, very seldom will you find me writing a negative post. In fact, I don’t think I’ve EVER written a negative post. Until today.
Ditto on writing a post where I have to get something off my chest. Never, EVER. Until today.
So here goes.
I spent several hours this afternoon trying to sqeeze my Size XL old body into clothes made for Size ZERO 12-year-olds. I am depressed.
Seriously, s-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y! What’s the deal with fashion these days! I mean, I know I haven’t shopped for anything since I retired except shorts, t-shirts, jeans, and sweatpants. Well, I did have to buy snow clothes for the island trip in February – but those clothes are supposed to make you look like the Michelin Man.
Here’s my dilemma. Two – count them – two dressy events to attend this weekend. I’ve never set foot in the Mackinac Island Yacht Club, but I am smart enough to know that shorts and a t-shirt are not going to work. We have a dinner there Friday night.
Sunday night it’s dinner at The Grand. And even though the dress code has been relaxed for that event, “relaxed” at The Grand means you don’t have to be dressed formally, but you should at least look like you’re heading for a really, really classy evening out. Shorts and a t-shirt won’t work there either.
What do ladies of a certain age and weight do? When I look on the clothes racks for my size, I am faced with dresses and suits that remind me of somebody’s Aunt Gertie Mae – enough material in the skirts of those things to hide a baby elephant and a couple of medium-sized ponies. And everything this year is covered in ruffles and lace – so cute on darling teenagers and 20-something’s – so ridiculous on those of us on Social Security. Put ruffles and lace on me, and I look like a 62-year old Pillsbury Dough Girl dressed for her prom. It’s sad. It’s just sad.
So – Tuesday I’m driving to a couple of nearby towns to try and find a ladies shop for older women who want to look stylish, classy, and really thin – even if they aren’t. Hopefully, Wednesday morning you won’t have to endure another tantrum like this one.
I’m going to stop writing now because I’m extremely disappointed in myself for heaping all of this on you, my precious readers.
I have to admit though, I feel much better now that I’ve expressed my feelings. But I’m still depressed enough that I will probably have to eat all four of the giant cookies I bought at Martha’s Sweet Shop on my way home – two chocolate chip, two peanut butter.
Do they still make muu-muu’s?